THIS GLORIOUS HOUSE

hi babes.

it’s been a bit, huh?

lots of processing and healing and (I’ll be real) just plain craziness going down over here. and it’s GOOD. I’ve got some insane stuff that I’m currently working on which will be coming at you next month… and it is honestly just the culmination of some of the biggest dreams & greatest fears of my heart that I didn’t even know I had, y’all. so you’re not gonna want to miss it.

I thought it might be profitable for me to let you into the sweetness that is this journey for me, and to break open some of that breathlessness that has been rebuilding me…

because sometimes I need to be reminded that what comes to me is for me. that what takes part in my deconstruction does, by default, take part in my rebuilding. that all the things that are happening in me now are working to make a greater and more purposeful future that is so worth living.

what about you?

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I love the visualization of being the dwelling place of Grace & Truth.. a house in which the Divine feels at home… a residence for the Spirit of Peace. that is a picture that has always just spoken to me really deeply. and what’s lovely is that in the book of Haggai I get this whole new insight into what that could mean, into what it must mean, as I read about the people of God rebuilding the temple.

“the future glory of this house will be greater than the past glory… and in this place I will give you peace…” Haggai 2:9

Continue reading “THIS GLORIOUS HOUSE”

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FOR THE BRUISED & BUSTED UP

hey there family.

how’s your heart doing? how does life feel against your skin? how’s the weight on your shoulders?

heavy?

yeah… me, too.

because I’ve been struggling real fierce with the weight lately. with the heaviness of all that the world is. all that the Way is. all the healing and woundedness in the world.

I’ve been taking more pauses for deep breaths meant to cleanse and pause and bring shalom into my heart. more because there’s more to breathe against. more to fear. more wounds to bind up.

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the world is heavy, and the weight is fearsome, and the depth of the rawness of our humanity is leagues and leagues more so than the ocean. and we must find a way to breathe through it, to surrender to the healing, even as the arrows pierce our hearts.

and all the bitter hypocrisy, all the callous & graceless acts of others, all the hard work for more disappointment, all the exhaustion and survival, all the confusion and frustration of WHY IS THIS THE WAY IT IS… sometimes it just leaves me bruised & busted up in my soul. Continue reading “FOR THE BRUISED & BUSTED UP”

LITTLE GIRL, ARISE

there’s a beautiful portion of Scripture that never fails to leave me just a little bit breathless & a lotta bit refreshed. it never fails to ground my soul deeper into the sweetest Foundation and put my heart to flight. seriously you guys. this is one conversation I am PUMPED to have with you, fam!

check this out from Mark chapter 5…

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there came from the ruler’s house some who said, “Your daughter is dead. Why trouble the Teacher any further?” But overhearing what they said, Jesus said to the ruler of the synagogue, “Do not fear, only believe.” …and Jesus saw a commotion, people weeping and wailing loudly. And when he had entered, he said to them, “Why are you making a commotion and weeping? The child is not dead but sleeping.” And they laughed at him. But he put them all outside and took the child’s father and mother and those who were with him and went in where
the child was. Taking her by the hand he said to her, “Talitha cumi,” which means, “Little girl, I say to you, arise.” And immediately the girl got up and began walking, and they were immediately overcome with amazement.
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okay. lots, lots, lots to unpack here. (major understatement, amiright?) 😉 let’s tackle this.

we’re walking into a family in crisis here. there’s a little girl who is dying, and her family is terrified.

panicked.

desperate.

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ever been there in the total chaos of the soul? ever been there in the dying or the deadness of your spirit? Continue reading “LITTLE GIRL, ARISE”

10 (MORE) NOT SO TINY TRUTHS

a long time ago, I wrote a blog post called “10 not so tiny truths”, and it is still one of my favorites. it’s chalk-full of small, easy-to-remember truths for the days where you just can’t, you know?

well a lot of you really seemed to find a sense of solidarity and hope in that post, and today when I woke up totally askew & feeling all off, I realized it might be time to not just remind myself of those sweet old truths, but bring to light some new ones that I want to always remember. 

to read the previous list of ten not so tiny truths, all you have to do is click here.


here are TEN (MORE) NOT SO TINY TRUTHS:

1) there is enough grace (or forgiveness, or hope, or love, or _______) for all of us, and you don’t have to fear it running out.

2) it’s okay to stop watering the dead things.

3) you have been called “good & blessed”.

4) Jesus doesn’t regret saving you.

5) if you feel abandoned by churches or spirituality or religion or just love in general, remember… God seeks what has been driven away. 

6) you are allowed to change.

7) truth often divides before it binds.

8) nothing is ever wasted on Jesus.

9) just because you are soft does not mean you are not a force- honey and wildfire are both the color of gold. // Victoria Erickson

10) mercy triumphs over judgement.

tuck these small & powerful truths into your heart. save the link. share the post. copy them into your journal. write them in sharpie on your arms. you do you, sister. 

but remember them well, and recall them when you are floundering in doubt, in fear, in shame, in loneliness, in insecurity, in forgetfulness, in depression, in the in-between.

remember them always, and repeat them to your heart and to the hearts of your sisters and brothers. breathe fresh air into these truths as you turn them over and over and manifest them in your life. 

I’ll be here with you… repeating, ruminating, manifesting.

xoxo

YOU DON’T NEED MORE FAITH… THAT’S IMPOSSIBLE, ANYWAY

ever had someone tell you that you “just need to have more faith”?

aside from being kind of judgy & just plain unhelpful (that’s a blog post for an entirely different time), it’s biblically inaccurate and impossible. yeah, you did actually read that correctly. 😉 and there’s an overflowing amount of freedom that comes with no longer striving for this imaginary amount of faith you have to reach in order to no longer be deemed “less than” or “not enough” by humanity.

I mean, let’s take it back and actually look at scripture, okay?

“For I say, through the grace that was given me… think reasonably, as God has apportioned to each person a measure of faith.”
romans 12:3

did you catch that? yeah, you’ve already been given every ounce of faith you need, planted deep in your soul since the moment you said “yes” to healing. it’s already been measured out, and Divine Love didn’t shortchange you. I promise.

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you don’t need “more faith”, because Jesus doesn’t deprive us of what our souls need.
you don’t need “more faith”, because you weren’t haphazardly tossed together.
you don’t need “more faith”, because the power of grace didn’t run out before it got to you.
you don’t need “more faith”, because Divine Love doesn’t allow you to suffer meaninglessly.
you don’t need “more faith”, because He isn’t dangling it in front of your nose, then handing it to someone else. Continue reading “YOU DON’T NEED MORE FAITH… THAT’S IMPOSSIBLE, ANYWAY”

JESUS & A NEVER-RUNS-OUT, CONTROVERSIAL KIND OF LOVE

there are certain portions of scripture that never fail to take my breath away.
moments I read about that leave me shivering and goose-bumped at the beauty.
they’re the ones that stick with me and start to shape the rebuilding of my heart.

I love peeling open the pages of my Bible and finding Life and Love and Truth in there. the gospel of John calls Jesus Himself the Word, and I understand that with greater depth of feeling when it’s as though the words of Scripture absorb His presence. there’s a holiness in there, in that sacred space of sweet community with the Divine, that beckons off our shoes & calls us closer to a fuller and sweeter understanding.

one of those breathless moments of Divine presence happens in particular for me in John 8… and I really really want to share that moment with you because I think it’s crucial in our understanding of who this Jesus is.
what this Way is that we walk.
where our lives are meant to intersect and mesh.

because Jesus is never a neutral party. Jesus never compromises. Jesus is all-encompassing fullness and a great & holy force of grace. Jesus is always acting, always moving, always guiding.

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Jesus-love is a messy, holy, and yeah… controversial… kind of love.
and the breadth of it is wild & bold.
there’s enough for all of us & there will keep on being enough-
there is no shortage.
there is no scarcity. Continue reading “JESUS & A NEVER-RUNS-OUT, CONTROVERSIAL KIND OF LOVE”

THERE’S ROOM AT THE TABLE, AND YOU ARE INVITED

It was a hard decision… choosing what my very first post of 2017 would be. and then, rather suddenly, it wasn’t actually difficult at all. allow me to explain…

if you are familiar with the Untidy Grace Manifesto, which I posted here last fall, or if you’ve read the meet moriah page, you’ll know the way my heart beats. the very vibration of my bones is for you, for my people, to know that you belong here, that your journey is invaluable, and that your becoming is the most important thing you could ever invest in, because your becoming is all about redemption and reconciliation and healing- for you and for the whole world.
and so this post, born of that heartache-y vibration, is my love letter to you, dear soul. let these words be the ones that ring in your ears and echo until 2017 has come and gone and you have lived wild and holy and brave…

there is always room at the table. and if there isn’t more room at your table, you’re at the wrong table.

friend, here’s a shock for you: you are invited. 

in a space throbbing with the ever-changing “you’re in“, and “you’re out” rhetoric, and the chaotic drumbeat of a song you never quite learned how to dance to (but somehow everyone else did), there is a table to which you are- to which you’ve always been– invited.

there is a table where the under-valued and the stumbling misfits and the mentally ill and the cast-offs and the theologically inept and the trying-but-failing and the battered and broken sit together and healing happens.
belonging happens.
Jesus happens.

there is a table without a dress code and with no prerequisite except for coming, fully human, ferociously hungry, as you are.

there is a table where your story is heard, your journey is honored, and your small piece of humanity is woven proudly into the unfolding, scandalous drama of grace.

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some pretend they own the table (and the invitations, too), but if they’re honest, they felt uncomfortable there and made their own. their table is not The Table. and if you have been excluded from their table, you can rest assured you don’t want to be there anyway. Continue reading “THERE’S ROOM AT THE TABLE, AND YOU ARE INVITED”

I DON’T DO RESOLUTIONS // MY #ONEWORD365 FOR 2017

this is a post that I’ve been really excited to share for quite some time now… even though I wasn’t entirely sure what it would look like 🙂

while it’s never been a public thing for me, and not something I chose to share on the blog, I’ve practiced this idea of having a single word to guide and represent my year for the past couple of years.

I love #oneword365 and the way that they really rally around and create tribe in a beautiful, holistic way for those trying to live their words! so, if this is something you find yourself really connecting to by the end of this post, definitely click here and go give ’em a visit. (this isn’t sponsored- I just really love these peeps!)

here’s the idea: instead of creating a list of things to do, or to not do, in the new year (which are pretty much either abandoned or causing you to pull your hair out by the time march rolls around), you just find one, solitary word that resonates with your soul, and you choose that as your battle-cry and banner for the coming year. or, more accurately, it chooses you; or that’s what it feels like. more often than not, the word you’ve been running from is the word you need. (don’tcha hate that?)

I’ve been searching for my word for almost three months. and even though I’ve pretty much known it since the beginning, it took me until the end of the creative retreat I did at the beginning of this week (more on that later!) to fully embrace it and own it.

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it’s time. no more messing around. it’s my word that’s been given to me, and I’m running with it, clinging to it, breathing it in and becoming more comfortable with it in my life.  Continue reading “I DON’T DO RESOLUTIONS // MY #ONEWORD365 FOR 2017”

WHEN CHRISTMAS EVE LOOKS LIKE MOZARELLA STICKS & THE WALGREENS PARKING LOT

some christmases are perfect.

they’re perfectly sprinkled with tinsel and giggles, your present-wrapping game looks like something out of a magazine, everyone somehow gets along, your dinner turns out better than you expected, the house magically stays clean…

some christmases… aren’t.

sometimes Christmas eve looks like your pregnant self having contractions and pain all day, a half-dead tree because you cut it down before thanksgiving, pajamas you forgot to put in the wash, a present or two still unwrapped, and meat for your favorite traditional Christmas eve dinner left out of the fridge leaving you to scavenge at Walgreens because it’s the only place still open at 8pm.

sometimes Christmas eve dinner is mozarella sticks and doritos instead of beef stew.

sometimes it’s giggling on the sofa in sweatpants because your husband’s adrenaline is still so high from putting on the Christmas eve service.

sometimes it’s all the things you didn’t see coming.

if that’s you, you’re in good company.
WE are in good company.

because Jesus was everything we didn’t see coming.

God with us.

God for us.

not forgotten.

not unseen.

not unloved.

the dare to hope.

the un-hoped-for goodness.

so often all the good things are all the things we never saw coming.
all the things wrapped in messiness.
all the things we have to travel through wondering in order to receive.

embrace the messy, okay? ❤

CHANGELING // FINDING YOURSELF IN THE UPROOTING

come sit for a minute.

I’ve got the fire going so it’s all aflame and crackling, spitting sparks up into the chimney.
the little cast iron kettle is hot and bubbling, and I’ve got a mug here ready to be filled with tea meant for cradling in chilly hands.
there are candles burning, and the tree lights are all soft and twinkly.

it’s a space made just for long chats and secrets spilled and hands clasped.

and I want to chat with you about something.
something big & deep & intimate & loud.
something I’ve been feeling my way into and out of and around as I grow and become and discover.
something I’ve been tasting on my tongue, breathing out in every shaky exhale.

this is something that changes everything.

you, my love, are a peculiar creature.
shifting & resplendent as the tide.
ebbing & flowing to newness and delight and sorrow.
restless & vagrant as the wind.
whispering and screaming through the world with unbroken tumblings.
tidal. rolling. unsettled. transformable.

you, my love, are a changeling.
this fluidity is your gift, your offering, your dynamism.
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do not forget, dear friend, that you are never stuck.
you are never without the freedom of choice in your own heart… of the still small voice that calls you to choose a new way, a different way, a better way. Continue reading “CHANGELING // FINDING YOURSELF IN THE UPROOTING”