letting the dead things go…

it’s been a while since I showed my face here on the interwebs.

hello πŸ™‚

I’ve been off learning lessons and aching deeply and living joyously.

because life is really shitty sometimes, and God is really good always, and sometimes it’s really hard to understand how both can be true at the same time.

you know, like when the whole world is in uproar, and refugees are fleeing and the unborn are being murdered and people you love with your whole heart are being emotionally wounded in excruciating ways.

and you just sit on your bed and stare at the opposite wall and go “what the hell?”

and all the evidence points to the world falling to pieces, and that’s when your anxiety disorder and struggle with depression make total sense to you, and you wonder why everyone in the world isn’t on medication for it. like, how do people live their lives without being snapped in half by the reality of all of this?

and you mourn the loss of all the dreams that look like they’re never going to come to pass, and the child you were desperately hoping to start the adoption process for this winter, and the brokenness all around you, engulfing you.

and you clench your fists into your eyes to stop the crying and just have to go “why the fuck is this happening, God?”

and you mourn, and you seek the word and find that you are blessed.
that you are, in some supernatural way,Β comforted.

blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted… matthew 5:4

and you ache for it.

and finally the tears are done falling, and you’re just kind of empty… and the corpses of all the heartaches are just littering your heart like some strange grave yard.

and that’s when it’s time to finally let the dead things go.

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autumn is always the time when I fight this until I finally find peace.

I’m fighting it now, friends.

I don’t want to let them go. for some reason I find it to be my good penance to hold the deadness in. I think it’s my lot in life to carry the heavy corpses. but they don’t need to be carried… they need to be buried.

I’m still learning this. I know it, but sometimes I don’t feel it. I don’t really have all the answers except to say that I know my Redeemer lives, and at the last, He will stand upon the earth. (Job 19:25)

that’s what I’m holding out for. that’s why I’m letting the dead things go, slow and difficult though it may be.

and, oh, sweet friend… it’s a lovely, lovely thing.

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#lovetheinbetween // 3 tips on vacationing with in-laws

hey lovies πŸ™‚

I hope you’re still popping in, even though I’m on vacay… I’m doing my best to keep popping in πŸ˜‰

I thought I’d give y’all an update on the vacation, plus share a few thoughts on vacationing with in-laws!
love the in between vacation

whether it’s your first time vacationing with your hubby / wifey’s family, or your tenth…
whether you love them, don’t really know them, or have a tough time dealing with them…
whether you’ve been married for less than a year or for a few handfuls of years…

I’ve got three thoughts for you that have helped me have an AMAZING time over the past few days in myrtle beach! πŸ™‚

TIP #1: SORT OUT “WRONG” FROM “DIFFERENT”
just because someone does something differently, doesn’t mean that the way they’re doing it is wrong! to you, it may be strange, unnerving, disconcerting, or unconventional, but to them it’s the norm. that doesn’t mean that they don’t do anything wrong; it simply means you need to stop assuming that different=wrong! (if something’s happening that you feel is wrong, that means EXTRA grace and EXTRA of tips #2 + #3) πŸ™‚
Continue reading “#lovetheinbetween // 3 tips on vacationing with in-laws”

#lovetheinbetween // free to struggle

this morning I found a bug.
a very fast, creepy-crawly bug.
I was home alone.
the bug was near the part of my parents’ house which currently functions as my and Joey’s living space.
I lost the bug.

and after a week of low anxiety (with the exception of one bad day), I felt it rising fast.
so I have been hiding out upstairs, too close to the edge of an anxiety attack to go downstairs to find my purse and keys and run the errands I am supposed to run.
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once again, life is put on hold for the chaos in my mind. Continue reading “#lovetheinbetween // free to struggle”

#lovetheinbetween // 4 ways to breathe deep and deal with loss

HAPPY TUESDAY PEEPS.
summertime, sunshine, and studying 1 John with my babe is what perfect days are made of.

me
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in other words, I was supposed to write this post yesterday.
and it was supposed to be about something else.

I know I do this a lot lately.
perhaps you’re tired of it.

but life is such, that things aren’t really going as planned lately.
like when you find out your therapist is moving.

and I need to be okay with that, and learn to adjust and change in order to be able to be okay with that.

so this is me- changing, adjusting… becoming someone new πŸ™‚

and here are the four ways I’ve been learning to cope, breathe deep, and deal with loss. Continue reading “#lovetheinbetween // 4 ways to breathe deep and deal with loss”

#lovetheinbetween // 50 thoughts I have on an average tuesday

you guys know me pretty well by now.

you know I have a thing for sweet tea and my awesome, nerdy husband.
you know I like writing words and everything autumn and loving on people.
you know I struggle daily with anxiety and loving Jesus more.

wanna know something else?

how about my innermost thoughts? πŸ˜‰

well, if you’re that creepy and into prying, you’re in luck! (heehee!) because today I’m sharing the 50Β thoughts I have on an average tuesday. Continue reading “#lovetheinbetween // 50 thoughts I have on an average tuesday”

#lovetheinbetween // in which my new favorite holiday is celebrated

extra sweet.
extra ice.
extra cute cup.

how do you take your iced tea? πŸ™‚

well, moriah, that’s a weird question, and even weirder way to start a blog post. why do you ask?
let me tell ya πŸ˜‰
it just so happens that today is a VERY HAPPY NATIONAL ICED TEA DAY!!!
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seriously guys, this is a thing!!
june 10th, people! Continue reading “#lovetheinbetween // in which my new favorite holiday is celebrated”