33 WEEKS PREGNANT & A VERY HONEST CONFESSION // THE BUMPDATE

so… the past two weeks have been a little wild. (what else is new, am I right?!)

in fact, a week and a half ago (at 31 weeks) I found myself in the hospital with several signs of preterm labor. talk about scary. thankfully, our little Io decided to stay put at least for a little while, and after some steroid shots and lots of precautions to ensure she’d be okay if she did happen to come early, we left the hospital with a baby still in my belly as opposed to our arms. (praise Jesus!)

however, we did learn some things about what exactly is going on in there with our little girl (who is perfectly healthy still!) and my crazy body.

the things we learned have required that I be on a modified bed rest until she makes her appearance. that means completely resting the pelvic area & keeping my heart rate down:

~relaxing on the sofa or bed while only getting up for food, water, bathroom, etc. 
~only 2-3 outings per week, and those outings must be low-key & completely non-strenuous.
~NO lifting
~eliminating anything/all situations which would cause my anxiety to spike

so, enjoy my bed-ridden bump picture and read on for the rest of what we learned πŸ˜‰

bump

33 WEEK BUMPDATE

~Iola is in the birthing position… and pressing down. her head has already descended to the point where my hip and pelvic bones are spreading (this usually happens directly prior to or during labor), which causes lots of pain for mama.

~mama is having about 2-3 fairly severe contractions per hour. (I was having them every 5-7 minutes when we rushed to the hospital a week ago, but with medication they slowed them back down!)

~mama’s cervix is quite thin, and just .1 centimeter away from being short enough to go into labor. they could almost feel Io’s head during the internal ultrasound :O

~mama’s uterus is sensitive enough that contact with internal organs is enough to trigger contractions.

~when anxiety raises mama’s heart rate, it tends to trigger contractions and other signs of preterm labor.

personally, I don’t see our little miss hanging out in there until the end of January! and thanks to modern medicine, no matter when she decides to make her debut, she should be completely healthy and good to go ❀

I will make this confession- this is not the kind of pregnancy journey I wanted or ever would have asked for. this has been so hard. it has been painful and miserable. and I can (now) say without shame that I have honestly for the most part truly disliked pretty much everything about pregnancy…

now sure, there have been exceptions, and there have been sweet moments here and there. and trust me when I say that I do and will love this little girl so hard, and she is worth absolutely anything- but guys:

I have never had a day where I felt like that magical glowing pregnancy unicorn we are all supposed to be. I have been intensely anxious, often depressed, ill, exhausted, in pain, and miserable since day one. and preterm labor scares, cold-turkey unmedicated mental illness combined with pregnancy hormones, and extended drastic physical pain are no joke.

I’m okay with how I feel about this because I know I love my daughter. I know that my misery over the way she must enter the world does not affect the depth of how much my heart yearns to care for her and raise her into the beautiful and kind and brave woman I know she will be. I know that these 7+ months feeling like hell have nothing to do with how I feel about Iola.

and that’s what really matters.

I can’t wait to see your beautiful face, my sweet girl. mama (and daddy) loves you so darn much.

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6 thoughts on “33 WEEKS PREGNANT & A VERY HONEST CONFESSION // THE BUMPDATE

  1. Oh hunny! I have had the EXACT same situation about five or six weeks ago. I’ve had four antepartum bleeds, and the last landed me in hospital for three days. I got the steroid shots and was monitored the whole time. They were actually prepping me for an emergency c-section at one point…at 25 (or 26) weeks. Thank goodness both our babes are still where they’re supposed to be!

    That being said, I don’t think you’ll go full term! But hey, it’s good to know that she’ll be good to go whenever she does decide to come πŸ™‚ You got this! Not long now πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    1. oh my goodness!! what a scary time! So glad your sweet little one is still safe inside mama for the time being ❀ yes, there is so much peace to be found in catching things early and being able to care for her wellbeing before she's even born! so excited for both our little loves to come soon!!

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  2. Gosh, girl, that’s HARD!! You are in my prayers and I’m sending peaceful vibes your way. I hated pregnancy and my birth experience, and I’m still learning to love my little bean, but things do get better! Rest, be at peace, and I’m a message away if you need a good listener!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. oh lady, I feel you. there’s no shame in hating that hard scary stuff! I’m so sorry you had such a traumatic pregnancy and labor, but I’m glad you & your little one are safe. hang in there! ❀

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